Mario's Diary
by KipperCat25
Summary: A diary of Mario's life...and how he fell in love with Peach. Dates are random.
1. January 2, 2012

Dear Diary,

It's a new year…not sure how I feel about that. As I look out my window on this cold winter evening, I think about all of the fun things I did last year. There was the time that I rode a roller coaster for the first time and puked all over my brother, Luigi. That was funny and gross.

Then there was the time I went over to Peach's castle. It was so…luxurious and elegant. Everything was spotless. I should probably thank her servant for that. But, I don't know who her servant is. I'll have to remember to ask her the next time I see her.

Peach…she's a beautiful princess. She wears that pretty pink dress, and has such lovely blond hair…Man, I really need to stop thinking about her.

The last fun thing I did last year was probably the best of them all. I kicked Bowser. Yeah, that might not seem like fun, but it was. Because he got all mad and started chasing me around and breathing fire. It was amusing, really. Especially when he tripped and fell off his throne.

Anyway, back to the present. There are some goombas outside my window playing in the snow. It makes me want to go stomp them. I think I will.

I'm back! That was easy. All of them didn't mind being stomped. In fact, they were happy about it.

Luigi told me something interesting earlier today. He said that whatever you do at the beginning of the year shows how your life will go for the rest of the year. So, if every day goes like today, I think I'll have a pretty good year. Maybe I'll get enough courage to ride another roller coaster!

Anyway, my hand is starting to get tired…I'm not really used to writing. I just got this diary for Christmas and haven't even written anything in it until now.

Speaking of Christmas, I got a few nice things. But most of the presents I got sucked. I got a book of rules from Luigi and a Bob-Omb from Bowser. The diary was from Daisy. The best thing I got was a card from Peach. …Darn. I'm thinking about her again.

I should probably end this now, before I start blabbing about stupid things. So, the end.

-Mario-

* * *

**Note: All spelling/grammar mistakes are to make it seem more like Mario's writing.**


	2. January 8, 2012

Dear Diary,

Well, it's been a whole six days since I've wrote in here. I think it's because I'm a man, and men really aren't supposed to write in diaries. But I wanted to, so I am. Anyway, yesterday the weirdest thing happened. I was walking down the sidewalk to the store so I could buy some candy when a Goomba comes up to me and asks to be stomped. I was confused, because Goombas hate being stomped. It's just like six days ago, when the ones outside were happy to be stomped. I wonder if Bowser is modifying them. Maybe I should go kick his butt. I think I will.

I'm back! It didn't go entirely as planned. I kicked him in his rear and that was fun, but he apparently had to go to the bathroom or something, and he pooped on me! The poop was burning hot, too, like his fire! Then I got really mad and stomped on his head. That knocked him out and I took the Goomba modifying machine away from him. Did I mention that there actually was a Goomba modifier? Well there is. It's weird looking.

Three days ago, I went up to Peach's castle to have tea again. The tea was really nice and sweet, not bitter at all like the kind they sell at the store. While I was there, she said something that made me choke on my tea. I asked her who her servant was, and she said, "I don't have a servant." That made me choke. I thought for sure she had a servant who did all her work for her. I mean, she _is _a princess. I told her that and she just said that she does all of the work herself. That's another thing for me to love her for.

Enough about Peach. Let's talk about me instead! I'm so awesome that some people call me "Gangster Mario". That's the cover of my diary, by the way. One of the many awesome pictures of me! Super Mario is cool too, when I become him, or the one form of me that I can't remember the name of, the one with a squirrel tail thing.

I never formally introduced myself, did I? Well, my name is Mario. I've gotten thousands of fan letters asking me what my last name is, but I haven't answered any of them because I'm too embarrassed. But I'll write it in here because no one's ever going to read my diary. It has a lock on it, and I have the key. My last name is…Johnson. Mario Joseph Johnson. That's my full name. Sigh…I hate it. I wish I was 100% Italian and not just half. Then maybe my last name might have been Italian instead of American.

Anyway, most people who are Italians like pasta and pizza, or something like that. I like lasagna. I'm completely different. Luigi just came into my room and told me that lasagna is pasta. I don't believe him. I'm Italian, so I should know. Luigi also just said that he's Italian too. Stop eavesdropping!

Sigh…I'm getting hungry for some lasagna now. Maybe I'll go make some in the kitchen or something. Bye for now!

-Mario-

* * *

**Oh Mario...what goes on in your brain when you write this?**


	3. January 15, 2012

Dear Diary,

Today I woke up, and there was a spider on my head! I screamed and threw it at Luigi when I went downstairs. Then he threw it out the window. I got mad at him for ruining my fun.

Anyway, I went to the store yesterday and bought a puzzle. It was one of those hard ones with 1000 pieces. I didn't know that when I bought it, though. Luigi told me when I got home. Then I got mad and went to return the darned thing, but the storekeeper said that returns were not allowed.

Speaking of which, Luigi has irritated me a lot lately. I think he's doing that on purpose so I'll move out. But I think he should move out. I was here first, since I'm older.

I just thought of a good idea to get back at Luigi. I'll prank him! Here's what I'll do. When Luigi gets up in the morning, he makes some coffee. To do that, he turns on the water. There's a hand-held hose thing attached to the sink, and it works when you press in the button and the water is on. So I'll tie a rubber band around the hose and whenever Luigi goes to make his coffee in the morning, the water will squirt all over him!

I got really mad at Wario yesterday. He stole my diary and broke the lock. Now he knows my real name and is telling everyone. I called the police on him and now he's in jail.

Yesterday wasn't a very good day for me. Other than that, I got my finger stuck in a pencil sharpener and it cut me! I yelled at it to let go, but it didn't work. Oh well. Now there's a fat bandage on my right index finger, and that makes it hard to write.

I think I'll go make some more lasagna. I have a craving for it. And then afterwards I'll get some ice cream! That sounds good, so I'll go make it. Bye!

I'm back! It's been three hours since I wrote in here last. Dumb oven decided to burn the lasagna three times, so I ended up just ordering Mexican food. But I still had the ice cream afterwards.

I'm tired now, so I'm going to go to bed. Night!

-Mario-

* * *

***grins* Oh, Mario...**


	4. January 23, 2012

Dear Diary,

Today was a strange day for me. When I woke up, Luigi wasn't even here. Which is weird, because he doesn't have a job. Well, neither do I, but that doesn't matter. Anyway, I spent like an hour looking for him, but I couldn't find him. That made me mad, so I wrote him a note of anger. I want to get a job at our local Food Barn, which is a grocery store. I could be a cashier or clerk or whatever that person is called and ring people up! That would make me so happy because I love the sound a cash register makes whenever it opens. I think I'll go apply for a job there later today.

Anyway, the first month of the year is almost over! It's so exciting. My birthday comes up soon. Well, not my _official _birthday. Not the one that Nintendo says I have. My _private _birthday. The date that I was actually born on. It's March 2nd. Only a little more than a month left! Then I'll be 32! Hmm…that makes me sound old.

Anyway, I was reading this book yesterday on how to do a back flip, and it gave step by step instructions. I followed them…well, I tried to, anyway. Apparently a back flip goes a lot faster in real life than in the book. Because before I even got the chance to do the first step, I fell on the ground and broke my leg. Now Luigi has to push me in a wheelchair. I feel bad for him, but my arms aren't strong enough for me to push myself. Otherwise I would.

So yesterday was also an interesting day. I accidentally told Bowser that I loved Peach. I felt so bad, and I'm sure Peach knows now and hates me for it. So here's the real story, just in case Bowser tells you something different.

Well, I was walking down the street and I saw Bowser up ahead at the stop sign, in his truck. I decided to hitch a ride and jumped in the back. I didn't know where he was going, and after a while, I got bored. So I started talking to myself. Which wasn't a good idea. I was reminiscing about how I met Peach for the first time, and Bowser heard every word. I stomped on his head after he said that and made him crash his truck. I laughed. I escaped with only a bruise on my arm and a cut on my face.

So that's the whole story. Anyway, now that I've said that, I need to go out and buy a new diary. I still haven't bought one since Wario broke the lock on this one. Speaking of which, Wario escaped from jail and now he's on the run. Maybe I should go bash his head in.

Well, I'm going to ask Luigi to wheel me to the store. Bye!

-Mario-

* * *

**Ha...I laughed while re-reading this! Man, if things keep going like this...Mario will need several new diaries to keep writing. By the time I catch up to the current date, he'll probably have 45 entries...wow. That's a lot of chapters. **


	5. January 31, 2012

Dear Diary,

Well, it's the last day of the month. That makes me both sad and happy. Sad because there's not going to be another January for the next twelve months, and happy because Valentine's Day is coming up! I'll get to ask Peach to the prom. I've wanted to ask her for years, but I've never had the courage.

Anyway, so I'm finally out of my wheelchair. I still have crutches, though. Those things are even harder to use than the wheelchair! Luigi has to carry me around the house now. I feel even worse now. I bet he's really embarrassed. So I tried to make him lasagna to make up for it. But it got burnt again three times (dumb oven) so I just ordered him Mexican food instead. I don't think he liked it that much. Considering he puked afterwards.

Luigi took down the Christmas decorations today. I was proud of him. Why? I don't know. I just was. And then earlier I started crying for no reason…I think I have emotional problems. They were probably caused by the trauma of my broken leg and that dumb back flip book.

So yesterday I saw Wario walking down the street. I thought that was dumb because he's on the run, and if he didn't want people to catch him, he's not doing it right. I called the cops on him, but he ran away, so they didn't catch him.

I feel so proud of myself. I learned a new word this month! Well, actually I learn a new word every month, thanks to my "Word a Month" calendar. Every day I see that word, and then it's definition gets shoved into my brain. So now I can use it. This month's word was "hyperactive". Now I know that that's what I am sometimes. Especially when I go Goomba stomping.

Anyway, I am now officially weirded out. I just saw Bowser dancing in the middle of the street. *shakes head to clear brain* I really need to forget that. It was just…unnecessary. As a matter of fact, I think he was doing the disco…and he was doing it WRONG! How do you mess up doing the disco? That's what I'd like to know.

Well, so far my new diary has been holding up. I copied everything from my old diary to my new one. This new one has the same picture on the front but it's blue.

I should probably go ask Luigi to carry me somewhere to get food. Or maybe I could just ask him to do it for me. But I'm not sure he would actually do that, him being my brother and all. I think he hates me. There's no way he would do me any favors.

Well, I should go. Later!

-Mario-

* * *

**Poor Mario...**


	6. February 5, 2012

Dear Diary,

February is here! *does happy dance* Well, now that I've got _that _out of my system…want to know something weird that happened yesterday? Well, I was eating dinner in the dining room when I heard a ruckus coming from outside. I walked outside to see (by the way my leg is healed) and I almost had a heart attack. Toad and Toadette were having a mushroom fight in the backyard! I yelled at them to go away. I limped back inside to finish eating and my food was gone. And guess who ate it? Luigi. I got really mad at him, but I knew I shouldn't hurt my own brother, so I decided to go bash Bowser's head in instead. So I did. I stomped on him and he roared and breathed fire at me. But I must have been a little off my game, because he actually hit me, and I got burnt. Now I have bandages wrapped around my face.

Oh, yeah! Two days ago I bashed Wario's head in and got him put back in jail. But when I read the newspaper this morning, it said that he escaped again! I got really mad.

Anyway, I like lasagna. It tastes good, like pepperoni. And pepperoni is good. Anyone who doesn't think so is an idiot and has a monkey for a mom.

So, there's a mouse in my house. (haha, that rhymes) I woke up and went downstairs and I saw it. It was crawling around in a stocking that Luigi forgot to put away a few weeks ago. I yelled at him and he bashed the mouse with a broom until it died. That took a while, because Luigi is weak. I'm sure if I would've done it the mouse would've been dead in one hit. *strikes pose*

Luigi just came into my room and said that I'm as weak as an ant. But ants are strong. They can carry three times their own weight. Well, leaf-cutter ants can, anyway.

Well, I'm tired. So I'm going to go to bed. *throws diary across room*

-Mario-

P.S. Sorry this entry was short.


	7. February 11, 2012

Dear Diary,

Well, Valentine's Day is almost here! I'm so excited! Why? Well, I finally got up the nerve to ask Peach to the prom. And she said YES! *does happy dance* I took a dancing class yesterday, and it didn't go so well. I just hope I improve before the Valentine's Prom. *sigh* But judging by how things are going now…I doubt I'll be able to impress her. So I'll just have to use my looks instead.

Anyway, enough about my dancing. Let's talk about what life has been like for me lately.

Yesterday, Luigi came into my room without knocking like he always does and I started yelling at him like I always do. But here's the weird part. Right in the middle of our argument a Goomba waltzed into my room. We both stopped arguing immediately and stared at it. It said, "What's y'all lookin at?" There was a sound of crickets chirping, it was so quiet. I think that Goomba was defective. But at the time I thought Bowser did it, so I jumped out of the window, breaking the glass, and ran right over to his castle. I pounded on the door and demanded to be let in. Once I was finally admitted, (which took forever, I think Bowser needs to update his secretary Koopa) I jumped on his head and made him fall off his throne. Then I cackled evilly and left. *sigh* I hope he doesn't kill me for that…

Other weird things that have happened lately—I went to a winter theme park and rode a kiddie roller coaster. I got Luigi to ride it with me, but he wasn't too happy about it, considering what happened last time. I don't blame him. I puked on him again. I don't think I'm cut out to be a "rider".

Well, Luigi had to make dinner today, since it's his turn. I wonder what he made. I'll be back.

I'm back! Luigi made spaghetti. But it was with multi-grain noodles. Yuck. I forced it down, though, to make him happy, but I threw up later. *sigh* I notice I've been sighing a lot. *sigh* Maybe I'm stressed. I think I should go to bed. *sigh* Night.

-Mario-

* * *

**Hmm...not good. Mario is stressed. CALL A DOCTOR!**


	8. February 16, 2012

Dear Diary,

Well, the Valentine's Prom was two nights ago, and Peach and I danced all night. I actually managed to improve my skills for the most part. I only stepped on her foot twelve times, and I think that's pretty good. She actually stepped on my foot once, and that made me feel better. But something tells me she did it on purpose.

Anyway, our house is still decorated with pink and red hearts and lights and stuff like that…I need to tell Luigi to take them down. But something tells me he won't…

So yesterday I was sleeping and Luigi comes into my room (without knocking as usual) and he puts a wind-up mouse on my bed! It woke me up and I screamed because I thought it was real. When I found out it wasn't, I chucked it at Luigi's head. Now he has a concussion. I was surprised that I could throw that good…maybe I should play softball. Or baseball. Or whatever. Maybe that's why he won't take down the decorations…

Also yesterday, Petey Piranha fell on my garage, and now there's a big hole. I'm not sure how he fell, but he _said _that he was flying and then his wings broke. But I didn't even know he had wings. But I do know that he likes chicken wings. With buffalo sauce. They quench his fire thirst and after he eats them his flames get hotter.

I'm really tired…I think I should get some more rest. I'm still tuckered out from the Prom and doing EVERYTHING around the house since Luigi has a concussion…I need to talk to him because when I had a broken leg, he still made ME do stuff. So it's not fair.

Anyway, talk to you later!

-Mario-

* * *

**It's always Luigi's fault...everything...even when the potato chips are gone...**


	9. February 21, 2012

Dear Diary,

I'm getting tired of just referring to you as 'Diary', so I'm going to give you a new name. It has to be flowy and graceful, with a hint of maliciousness and power. Also, it must be beautiful and majestic, like a lion. I've got it! I'll call you "Lioness"! It's such the prettiest name…flowy and graceful, malicious, powerful, beautiful, and majestic all packed into one! It's genius! Pure genius. So from this point forward, until the end of time, until the enemy militia decides to blow us up, until the sun explodes, until my refrigerator breaks…I will call you Lioness. It's such a…majestic, beautiful, graceful, powerful, malicious, flowy, powerful name, don't you think? I think so. Luigi just came into my room and said that "lioness" is the worst thing you could name a diary, because it's not even alive. Besides, what does he know? He doesn't even like potatoes.

So yesterday I was at the supermarket shopping for groceries, when I saw Bowser come into the store. I quickly ran and hid in a large basket of carrots, for he was coming straight for me. He didn't see me though, I don't think, because he went and picked up that basket of carrots I was buried in! I must have camouflaged myself pretty well. The bad thing was he paid for it and took it out to his truck, where he locked me in. Fortunately, I am good at picking locks, so I jumped out of the basket, unlocked the door, and ran. Bowser was in for a surprise when he came back and carrots were all over the floor. I didn't even know he liked carrots! He's not a farmer! At least I don't _think _he is. I know Peach has some hidden vegetable farms behind her castle, so _who knows _what Bowser has behind his! (Actually I know he has a nuclear power plant and some weapons facilities along with a giant grocery store) Wait…if he has a giant grocery store then why was he at the supermarket? That makes me wonder if he knew I was there all along.

Anyway, Luigi just said that he wanted Mexican food for dinner, which surprises me because the last time we had that he threw up. But, I _did _make it…maybe he wants to order it this time. Which I'm glad of because I don't know how to make tacos. That's probably why Luigi threw up. I can only make nachos.

I had my picture taken professionally for the first time three days ago, on Thursday. It was done nicely, considering all of the other times I've had my picture taken made me look like a giant toad with a wart on my face. But it was good. I have it hung and framed in my living room, alongside the many other horrible pictures of Luigi. I want to make him feel bad.

So I think this is my longest Lioness entry yet, eh? Maybe I should end it...? But I DON'T WANNA! Anyway, someone just knocked on the door. Be right back.

AAAAHHH! BYE! GOTTA END THIS QUICK! I GOTTA CALL THE POLICE *beep boop beep* Yes, Hello, there are three robbers going through my house right now…

-GONNA DIE MARIO

* * *

***sigh* Well, this is great. Just great. Mario's being robbed.**

**Anyway, this is the first thing I've updated in about two or three weeks. I've just been so busy...I'm sorry for any inconvenience. I'm also updating Luffy, NO! this weekend. If you haven't already read it, you should check it out. And review. Please. There's ONLY 23 chapters...I'm planning on having 25. And yes, the chapters are short. And no, they aren't boring. They're rather funny, if I do say so myself.  
**


	10. February 29, 2012

Dear Diary,

Well, today is Leap Day of a Leap Year, which means that there's 366 days this year. I'm really not sure how I feel about that…I mean, for my birthday next year, I'll be a year and a day older…

Well, anyway, I landed Bowser in the hospital. He was driving in his Chevy when I ran out in front of him. He slammed on the brakes and the car behind him (which happened to be his rival, Dr. Eggman) rammed into him from behind. Now, you might think that the bed of the truck would have protected him, but Dr. Eggman was driving his rocket-powered motorcar, so…yeah. It doesn't have brakes, because he thinks they weigh it down. Dr. Eggman has some weird logic.

Well, yesterday, Luigi threw a package at my head. I thought nothing of it, so I just threw it in the trash. BUT it was a bomb I was supposed to deliver to Bowser in the hospital. But I didn't read the tag, so I didn't know. Anyway, it blew up, so now my room is gone. *sigh* Oh well. Luigi got mad and said that since I was a superstar and a hero and all that that I should know those things.

So, I really don't have all that much to say. I mean, there's a party at Peach's today, which I'm going to, for the Leap Day thing, but other than that, there's really not that much going on. So I guess this'll just be a really short entry. 'Bye.

-MaRiO-


	11. March 3, 2012

Dear Diary,

Well, the past few days have been very…_interesting, _to say the least. I guess I'll have to start from the beginning. Okay. *takes deep breath* Well…it was…three days ago, I think, that those robbers came back. They got away with a bunch of my stuff before, but when they came back for another round, I was ready. I had already set about 50 traps (which Luigi got stuck in many times, by the way), and they got stuck in every single one. I had a nice laugh about that. After about ten traps, I called the police, and the Koopa Troopers came and arrested them. So I don't have to worry about robbers anymore. At least, that's what I thought.

Two days later, (yesterday) I was in bed late, because I was exhausted from dismantling all of the traps, and there was a knock on the door. I didn't want to get up to answer it, so I just laid there and pretended no one was home. Which was a bad idea, because once the person figured out that no one was home, he broke down the door and raided my kitchen. The whole time I just lay there, praying that he wouldn't come into my room. Then, when he left, I called the repairman. Once I made arrangements with him, I called the police.

And if that isn't enough, this morning I was robbed _again. _I think my house must be some kind of robber hotspot or something. But this time I grabbed my trusty BB gun and shot the guy until he couldn't move. I was so angry. As a matter of fact, I'm _still _angry.

The Koopa Trooper told me that I might want to install a security system. I was all like, "Well _DUH." _He didn't tell me that the first or second time I was robbed.

Now I'm really angry. I think I need to go to a spa. So I think I will. BYE.

-Mario-

* * *

**Oh, Mario. You must be really popular. All the robbers flock to take your stuff...*walks out the door* I think I'll go rob you, too. Just don't pretend to be dead when I get there.**


	12. March 12, 2012

Dear Diary,

Well, today was interesting. I'm very tired, so I'll try to sum it up quickly.

Okay, so you know how the robbers love me, right? Well I was at the amusement park, standing in line for one of the scariest roller coasters (which was a dare by Lakitu, by the way) when I saw someone who looked like one of the robbers, standing in another line not 30 feet away from me. I panicked and crouched down on the ground so he wouldn't notice me. _That _was a bad mistake. If he hadn't noticed me before, now he _definitely _had. He jumped a little and then, pushing and shoving, began to run away.

I gathered my courage and ran after him, disregarding Lakitu's shouts that I was a coward. I doubt he even noticed that I was doing something heroic, chasing after that robber without a weapon. Anyway, the robber looked over his shoulder to see how far behind I was, and since he wasn't paying attention to where he was going, he ran right into an elderly gentleman and fell backwards.

I caught up to him and yelled for help while I held his arms behind his back. Well, it turns out that that elderly gentleman was actually a policeman, so I didn't have to wait very long.

The robber was taken away, and I walked back to where Lakitu was still standing in line. He started yelling at me, but I ignored him, getting back into the line. Eventually he shut up, probably because he realized I hadn't given up on the dare after all.

After I rode the roller coaster (it really wasn't so bad after all) I was exhausted, so I went home, leaving Lakitu to do whatever he normally did.

And so, here I am. *sigh* Today was very eventful. I hope I don't have to deal with that every day…

-Mario-

* * *

**So...what chapter is this? 11? 12? I really don't know...anyway, I'm sure you've noticed I'm VERY behind on this story. It's not even 2012 anymore...**

**Oh well. I'm just going through the end of 2012 anyway...well, unless I want to go further. I haven't decided yet.  
**

**I'm hungry...FEED ME! WITH REVIEWS! Please? I'll die of starvation if you don't...*sniff*  
**


	13. March 19, 2012

Dear Diary,

Ugh. I signed up for a spring break college course, so I wouldn't fall behind in my nonexistent education. It's so hard! I barely passed the entrance examination, and the classes are super-duper-uper difficult. I think I have an average of a 70%..._barely _passing. At least the semester, if you can call it that, only lasts for 9 days, the length of spring break. The only part of the entrance exam that I did well on was the part of the science section about the water cycle. I missed one question, and that irritated me. It asked which came first, condensation or precipitation, and I got it _wrong. _I was so mad.

At least I got the bonus question right….it was about plumbing. How convenient. But I think everyone's bonus question was geared towards them so everyone would get it right, because Toad took the same course as me, and he got the bonus question right. And I don't think he knows very much about plumbing. Even if he did…well, I wouldn't trust him around my pipes. *shudder* That's just something I don't want to think about. It's almost as bad as Wario being a doctor.

ANYWAY. I'm sitting in environmental science class writing this. Maybe that's why I'm barely passing….but I can't pay attention when the teacher is talking. Her name is Ms. Toadstone, and she talks in a monotone voice. It's so BORING.

…

Well, she walked by my desk when I wrote that…now I'm sitting in detention. Oh well.

-Mario-

* * *

**Okay, so Mario's a bad boy...bad Mario! Bad! *smacks Mario repeatedly with a newspaper***

**I'm still hungry...  
**


	14. March 26, 2012

Dear Diary,

I'm bored. All my friends say that I have a chronic problem, that it's not healthy to be bored all the time. But I can't help it. It's not my fault. I just live a boring life.

I like strawberry carving. It's an odd type of activity, I know. But I've gotten very good at it lately…I practice all the time. I entered a competition today, and I got 27th, and I'm proud of it. I got a strawberry the size of a dinner plate for my prize. Luigi says that I did awful because there were only 30 people who entered, but I just thought, "Well, at least I didn't get _last." _So I did good. There were 3 people who did worse than me, so I'm not that bad.

So now I've decided to try a new sport. Banana carving. I saw a picture of a banana carved to look exactly like a dragon, and it was SO COOL! I was so jealous, so I tried to do it myself. But my banana broke in half, and then I just ended up cutting it into little tiny pieces. It made me kind of irritated. So I gave up on banana carving, and now I'm trying to think of some other sport I could do.

I know! *gasp* _Orange _carving! I'm going to go try and carve an orange now, talk to you later.

(Five minutes later) Okay, that wasn't a good idea. I've got orange juice all over me now. BUT now I can say I have a new title! I'm not just a plumber…I'm a FRUIT CARVER!

-Mario-

* * *

**Way to go, Mario. You're a very well-rounded person. Sort of.**

**By the way, that thing about the banana dragon is true. I saw a picture of it, and it's awesome. You should check it out! Right after you review. JOIN THE REVOLUTION!  
**


	15. March 30, 2012

Dear Diary,

Well today was a little...strange. When I woke up this morning my bedroom was filled with pizza boxes. Makes me wonder how Luigi isn't fat...

Anyway, after I got over the shock of that, I went down to the kitchen to make breakfast. Well, I _tried _to, anyway. Turns out the rest of the house was filled with pizza boxes as well...

Actually, now that you mention it...Luigi _did _have a friend over last night...it was probably Wario. *smirk* No wonder he went through several hundred pizzas...

WAIT. If he ordered 300 pizzas, where did the money come from?! "AHH! LUIGIIIIIIII!? What have you done to my precious paycheck?!"

*luigi comes in* Yes, Mario?"

"What did you do with my paycheck?"

"I bought a pizza."

"_A_ PIZZA?" *motions around to the house* "this is _A PIZZA?!_"

*luigi blinks* "Yes, A PIZZA. I ordered one with 700 pieces, and they had to put it in a few boxes, that's all."

"AHH!" *slams fist on table* "WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME FIRST BEFORE YOU SPENT IT?"

"Umm...bye." *luigi walks out*

...Yeah. Sorry about that. That was one of my fail attempts to write a dialogue...I don't think I'm cut out for this writing stuff...

Anyway, I really need to teach Luigi a lesson about spending someone else's money without permission. He's been doing it for a couple years now, and it's very annoying. I have to work twice as hard to make the amount of money I've always made. I make all the money, and Luigi just goes and blows it. I should disable his permission to use my bank account. Actually, I think I'll go do that now...bye.

-Mario-

* * *

**I have returned to this story! YIPPEE! *throws confetti* Time to write a stupid-er story...hmm. Maybe Stupid Silver Socks? Or I could start a new one...hmm...*ponders* Anyway, don't forget to review! :D Thanks!**


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